Mother’s Day is a day I have never really reflected much on until now, because I never thought it would happen for me.
I just celebrated my first Mother’s Day with my beautiful baby girl, but it was a struggle to get to this day. I want to share my story because motherhood isn’t an easy journey.
I married my husband, Nathan Clarke, in December 2019 right before COVID-19 in 2020. We had discussed having children before marriage, and knew we’d be blessed just to have one child grace our lives.
We kept hoping our time would come after marriage, but a year went by and nothing had changed.
We visited a gynecologist to see what we could do about making our dreams come true about becoming parents. I was given medications such as Metformin and Clomid in hopes that they would help, but still nothing was happening. Another year went by.
Nathan and I started discussing adoption because we really wanted to have a family. Before taking that step, we decided to see an infertility specialist. We went to a place in Atlanta called Pathways Fertility and talked to Dr. Edward Dourron and his team about our goals. He suggested we try IUI (intrauterine insemination).
I went to start my IUI procedure but was then told there was no way I’d ever get pregnant that way. I was told the only way I’d ever get pregnant was through IVF (in vitro fertilization), and it instantly broke my heart. I called Nathan to let him know, and we took all of five minutes to decide we’d give IVF a try. Even though I was ready to burst into tears, I was determined to see things through and let Pathways Fertility know we would be putting our down payment for IVF.
Nathan said he really wanted a baby, but he was nervous about everything going on. He said he was glad we went through with the IVF process anyway.
“It was disheartening finding out we had to go through with IVF,” he said. “If the only way we could have a baby of our own was through IVF, it was worth a shot. I’m glad we did it. We ended up with the cutest baby ever due to it.”
Things progressed slowly for the IVF process because it’s so expensive, plus I had to lose a certain amount of weight for my egg retrieval surgery. We eventually got things paid for with the help of my parents, and I lost the weight I needed to. Things were looking up.
My mom and dad drove me to most of my appointments to Atlanta. My mom said she was excited about what was happening, even though it was very expensive. She said she was ready to become a grandma and hold her precious grandbaby.
“I was all for IVF. I knew it was going to be a long drawn-out process. I think the end result was just perfect, and it ended up being a good idea. Becoming a grandma is something else,” she said.
No one tells you how conditions have to be just right to have a baby through IVF. We went in February 2023 to get my blood work checked to see if we could finally start my egg retrieval process, but my estrogen was too high. I went into the appointment so excited and ready only to have my dreams crushed once again. It ended up being another month of waiting.
We went back to Atlanta in March to see if my estrogen levels had dropped enough, and they had! My ultrasound came out great, so we were good to go.
I was put back on Clomid, as well as a cocktail full of injections to help get conditions just perfect to grow eggs. That worked perfectly.
Dr. Dourron ended up collecting a total of nine eggs, with seven of them being in good condition to fertilize. Five of the seven fertilized, but only two ended up surviving to the final stage and becoming embryos.
They do genetic testing on the embryos after this, and we found out one of the embryos had abnormal cells. The facility won’t transfer an embryo with abnormal cells, so Nathan’s and I chances of becoming parents at that point came down to this one lone embryo.
Before they can transfer the embryo into the uterus, more blood work must be done. Conditions have to be perfect to grow a baby. Luckily my blood work was great, so I started taking progesterone at this point and the embryo was transplanted into my uterus in May 2023. Then we had to wait two weeks, which felt like two years, to find out if our single embryo implanted.
I remember taking a pregnancy test and it came back negative. I was pretty devastated, and I told them so at the doctor’s office in Atlanta the next day.
They drew my blood to test my hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin) levels, the hormone that helps indicate if you are pregnant or not. They called me the next day with my results, and my hCG levels were rising!
Nathan said he has lots of plans for our future with a baby, like going places. We both had been thinking about our future with a child. After a long journey, we were finally going to have a baby.
“I was relieved to find out we were finally pregnant,” he said.
“I was also scared. I was happy about the news, but having a baby is a big deal. It was a good day to find out we were going to be parents.”
Over the next few weeks I had to go to Atlanta three times per week to have ultrasounds and test my hCG levels. My levels kept doubling each day, and you could see our little nugget had implanted on the ultrasound.
Nathan and I were scared. We knew this pregnancy was going to be high risk because I’ve been type one diabetic since I was seven years old. There was a lot working against me, and my pregnancy went pretty well until the third trimester. It got hard to breathe, and my doctor was scared of preeclampsia. I was still working, but it was getting harder each day on me.
I ended up with RSV in December, which I was hospitalized for to monitor the baby.
I was very scared for her during that time, but we both pulled through. My due date was Jan.
27, but my blood pressure was getting increasingly worse each week, so Dr. Ernest Carlton delivered my April on Jan. 2. I was very close to reaching the preeclampsia stage then.
April ended up spending 10 days in the NICU to monitor her breathing, blood glucose and to make sure she ate. She struggled with eating which held her up from coming home. We were so ready to get her away from there. She eventually found her own groove with eating, and now at four months old, no one would ever know she had problems eating.
Nathan said when he first held April, he was scared because he didn’t want to hurt her. I knew he wouldn’t hurt her. He said he doesn’t feel the same way now because he knows she’s a strong girl.
“It’s a different kind of love than I’m used to. I want April to be happy and successful. I want to make sure she’s safe,” he said.
“It still doesn’t feel real that we’re even parents. I can’t believe we’re the ones celebrating Mother’s Day and Father’s Day this year.
She’s already growing up way too quick.”
It felt like everything was working against us in the universe to bring a child into this world, but we made it. Motherhood and fatherhood isn’t easy, either. There are days where I’ve been so overwhelmed and exhausted, but looking at my April’s smiling little face reminds me of the blessing God gifted Nathan and me. She is healthy, happy and perfect in every way.
She loves her mama and daddy.
She loves her milk and carrots.
She loves her pop-up book and watching Bluey.
In no capacity is motherhood easy. Happy Mother’s Day to the mothers struggling with infertility like I did, to the mothers who have adopted babies, to the mothers with small children, to the mothers who have grown children, to the mothers who have lost children, to the stepmothers who have stepped up, to the mothers who rarely see their children, to the mothers to be, to the mothers with their miracle babies, to the mothers with their rainbow babies, to the grandmas, to the single mothers, to the fathers who are in a mother role, and to all the dog and cat moms out there.
